I think I am going to start an Etsy shop selling collectibles made entirely out of hair. Specifically, the clumps of hair that have been abandoning my head since the birth of my daughter.
There seems to be an endless supply of it, because I am not bald yet. So, all things considered, this could deem very profitable for business. Is human hair paraphernalia in high demand? We moms could make a killing. Speaking of killing, on second thought, it’s probably in our best interest to do background checks on our hair trinket client base. One might question the sanity of anyone willingly purchasing human hair artifacts. There is a high probability they want to use it for voodoo.
Our bodies change after having a kid and there are side effects that are really annoying. One of these awesome side effects is hair loss. If all moms collectively pooled the hair they shed in an average week, together we could knit sweaters for the homeless.
Ok, well, maybe that’s taking it a little too far. It’s funny how hair goes from glorious to grotesque the second it is no longer attached to a body.
Mothers make terrible accomplices. We leave our DNA in the form of hair on everything.
Hair will takeover your home. It’s on your floor, it clogs your drains, it’s wrapped on your baby’s fingers. It’s in your food, it’s on your clothes, it’s in your bra. You will feel it there, wedged between your cleavage, or lack thereof (hair does not discriminate). But that’s not the only crevice your glorious hair will turn up in.
Do you have any idea what it’s like sitting in an important meeting and realizing there is a piece of hair teetering the top of your ass cheeks? Like a mosquito bite that needs to be itched. Sometimes your foul mood will be triggered because you really do have a hair across your ass.
Before children you might have spiced things up with cleverly designed hair in your lady regions.
Moms like myself spice things up by cleverly sticking our head hairs to the walls of the shower, molding them into happy faces for our spouses to see. Plus, spouses really love cleaning hair out of the shower right?